The Egg that Stole Christmas
by Tailsisreal
Summary: A holiday special for Sonic fans. Enjoy this classic Christmas tale now set in the world of Mobius and full of good laughs. Oneshot


Disclaimer (because it would stink to get sued on Christmas): I do not own Sonic or any related characters, although Tails **is** on my wish list to Santa... XD Also, credit has to go to Dr. Seuss for the storyline of 'The Grinch that Stole Christmas' which I've borrowed for this story.

Well, this has been effectively two years in the making now since I failed to finish it in time for the holidays last year, but here it is at last! As the name suggests, this is meant as a parody of the classic 'Grinch' Christmas classic, only using characters from Sonic the Hedgehog instead. Unlike a lot of my other works, though, this isn't really meant to be accurate or exactly true to either side so much as it is simply a cheerful and humorous read. I hope everyone enjoys their holiday season this year, and Merry Christmas!

The Egg that Stole Christmas

On the planet of Mobius  
Creatures covered the town.  
A single store that was empty  
Was nowhere to be found.

Yes, Mobians hustled and bustled  
And raised quite a fuss,  
Because today was the last day  
Before their beloved Christmas.

The shopping went on  
And the day got quite merry,  
Except for one person  
Who felt quite contrary.

"Look at these fools  
With their holiday plans!  
Someday, I swear  
I'll rule all of their lands!"

The angry old Egg  
Sat now in his chair,  
Keeping watch over the Mobians  
From his mountain lair.

"Christmas is pointless!"  
A humbug for sure.  
"It's just another day!  
There's no special allure!"

And the happiness he saw  
Now playing on his screen,  
Got Eggman to thinking,  
"How could they be so mean?!"

"Year after year  
I've had Christmas alone,  
And those wretched Mobians  
Have yet to throw me a bone!"

"For once I just wish  
To get a present for me!"  
The sad Doctor pondered  
And gazed at his metal tree.

Then, Dr. Robotnik  
Had a thought most evil,  
"So if I don't get presents,  
Then nobody will!"

Plotting and planning,  
His mind did devise.  
Now all he needed  
Was a clever disguise.

A quick glance at his jacket  
And a look in the mirror,  
He said, "Why, to Saint Nick himself  
I couldn't be nearer!"

Taking out his spare jacket  
And sowing on some white,  
He completed the outfit  
That he would use tonight.

* * *

Meanwhile, two Mobians  
On their way home,  
Trudged through the snow  
While they talked all alone.

"Think Amy will like  
All the stuff that I bought her?"  
"For the money you spent  
She could be your daughter!"

Sonic just huffed  
And gave the fox a long stare,  
But Tails only laughed  
As snow clung to his hair.

"So, Sonic," he spoke  
With eyes all aglow,  
"What'd ya get for me?  
I just gotta know!"

"Sorry there, bro,  
But that's still a secret.  
If you're good till tomorrow,  
Then I'll let you see it."

Somewhat disappointed,  
But knowing the rules,  
Tails silently prayed  
That it was a new set of tools.

Finally reaching the house  
At the bluff over a cove,  
Sonic made some hot chocolate  
Over their kitchen stove.

The beverage was hot  
As it ran down their throat,  
And it warmed their insides  
Like an internal coat.

Soon Tails let out a yawn  
To which Sonic then said,  
"Hey, bud. After supper  
It's straight off to bed!"

Annoyed at the curfew,  
Young Tails now protested.  
"But, Sonic!" he complained,  
"I still feel well rested!"

"Don't matter, bro,"  
Sonic quickly explained,  
"You know Santa won't come  
If you're still up when he came."

"Yeah right," mumbled Tails,  
"I've heard that before.  
I'm a grown up kit now!  
I don't believe in Santa anymore!"

Sonic seemed stunned  
As he pretended to faint,  
He then pleaded with his brother,  
"Please say that ya ain't!"

Tails was now puzzled,  
Confused as could be.  
"What difference does it make  
Whether or not I believe?"

" 'Cause Santa won't come!  
And he won't bring ya any gifts!"  
But this just made Tails annoyed,  
"I don't believe your myths!"

"Have it your way, bro,  
But watch out tonight,  
Santa might take away everything,  
Everything in sight!"

Tails just ignored  
Sonic's childish warning,  
"Then I guess we'll just see  
Come tomorrow morning!"

Then supper was served,  
And Tails went to bed.  
And all over Mobius,  
Children laid down their head.

With his brother asleep  
Sonic laid out the gifts,  
Thinking, _Maybe Tails __**is**__ too old  
__For such silly myths._

Sparing a minute  
To straighten things up,  
The hedgehog let out a sigh,  
And upstairs to bed, he snuck.

* * *

But, unnoticed by all  
As he flew high, out of sight,  
Saint Nicholas really would  
Be appearing tonight.

Seeing his nemesis's house  
Now down below,  
"I'll get that hedgehog first,"  
Eggman said, "Just for show!"

With the touch of a button  
His chair quickly descended,  
When, on the roof of the house,  
He finally ended.

"Now, how to get in?"  
Eggman had to ponder.  
"The door will be locked.  
The windows, too; but, I wonder…"

Seeing a chimney  
Sticking up from the roof,  
Eggman got an idea  
And didn't wait for proof.

Quickly shoving himself down  
The small opening of brick,  
Eggman made progress  
Before he began to stick.

"Grrrr… What a fate  
For an evil genius like me!  
To get stuck in the fireplace  
Of my worst enemy!"

Wiggling and writhing  
As best that he could,  
He could feel the hole widening  
As he entered the hood.

At last he fell to the bottom  
And onto a wood-holding spire,  
Now thanking good fortune  
At least the logs weren't on fire.

Then, from the fireplace  
He stepped out with a foot.  
Finally wiping his clothes  
To dust off the soot.

All around, Eggman saw  
Decorations and treats,  
Colorful lights,  
And very good eats.

"Whooo ho ho hooo!  
Now isn't this all so merry!  
I think that I'll take  
All I can carry!"

Looking once more  
For the biggest item to steal,  
Eggman decided the tree  
Would be the most ideal.

Grabbing and tugging,  
With both hands he lifted.  
The actual tree, however,  
Stayed rather restricted.

He grunted and yanked  
To keep his tree-stealing plan,  
But instead the tree fell  
Right on top of Eggman!

Using his strength  
To set the tree up once more,  
Eggman's face was unburied  
From pine needles galore.

It now once more standing  
And still decorative as could be,  
Eggman pondered a new way  
To remove the tree.

Just then, however,  
A weak voice now sounded,  
"Santa?" the kit spoke,  
With eyes widely rounded.

Stunned as he turned  
To face the young fox spy,  
Eggman wracked his mind frantically  
To come up with a lie.

"Ho ho! I'm caught!  
You're sharp as nails!  
I always knew that someday  
You'd see me, Tails!"

Tails now stepped closer,  
Not believing his eyes.  
His half sleepy mind  
Not seeing through the disguise.

"Santa? You're real!  
You really came!"  
But most shocking to the fox,  
"And you know my name!"

"Ho, Ho! I know the names  
Of every young cub.  
Now, back to bed," Eggman ordered  
Further questions to snub.

But young Tails was still curious,  
It could easily be seen,  
As he now said to Eggman,  
"Have you always been green?"

"Green?" Eggman puzzled  
With an expression to match,  
Till he noticed the pine needles  
Almost covering his moustache.

"Umm… yes, that is true!  
And it's why all others,  
Say that red and green both  
Are the Christmas colors!"

The sleepy Tails nodded,  
The fib serving its purpose.  
But the fox didn't leave,  
Which made Eggman nervous.

Tails now just stared  
At Eggman's modified coat,  
Eyes wide in wonder  
Before finally he spoke.

"I always thought Santa  
Was just a bunch of lies!  
But here you are now,  
Right in front of my eyes!"

Eggman knew to act quickly  
Before the fox caught him.  
"Ah, but now that you've seen me,  
We could have a problem."

"You know the rules  
To my present leaving.  
Children get nothing  
Unless they are sleeping!"

"I'm sorry," Tails pleaded,  
"I didn't know!  
I only got up  
Because I have to go!"

Eggman saw the opportunity  
To shoo his young witness.  
"Then stop talking with me  
And go take care of business!"

As Tails ran to the bathroom  
So himself he wouldn't wet,  
Eggman couldn't help thinking,  
_I might get away with this yet!_

_Tails is too tired  
__To see through my ruse!  
__I'll finish the job  
__Once he starts to snooze._

The bathroom door opened  
After a minute or two,  
As Eggman greeted Tails,  
"Now, to bed with you."

"I still have much work  
To be done in this home,  
But I won't leave a thing  
Unless I'm left alone."

Tails just obeyed  
As his sleepy head nodded.  
Up the stairs quietly now  
His furry feet plodded.

Eggman then waited  
'Till the fox was surely under,  
Before bringing his mind back  
To resuming his plunder.

"If this tree is too large  
For me to carry alone,  
Then how will I get it  
Out of the home?"

Then Eggman got an idea  
For making out with his hoard,  
And reached into his pocket  
Where his devices were stored.

He pulled out a pistol,  
A laser gun of sorts,  
And aimed at the tree,  
Firing a bright beam of quartz.

The Christmas tree was engulfed  
By the bright beam of light,  
Until it magically vanished  
Right out of sight.

Eggman sneered widely,  
Happy as could be,  
As the laser told him the pine  
Was stored in its memory.

Wasting no time,  
And with a shocking amount of joy,  
Eggman then zapped the presents,  
Stealing Tails' new toy.

The stockings and wreath  
Got blasted away, too.  
Along with every decoration  
Involving Christmas he knew.

Then, he went to the kitchen,  
And there he did steal,  
The chili and hot dogs  
For the two's Christmas meal.

Last, he spotted some mint candy  
And emptied the whole bowl,  
Now replacing the sweets  
With a large lump of coal.

"My work here is done!"  
Eggman said with much glee.  
"This is what they both get  
For never giving anything to me!"

Forgoing the chimney  
And simply leaving through the door,  
Eggman summoned his chair  
And took off once more.

"For Sonic and Tails now  
Christmas is lost,  
But all the other Mobians  
Must still pay the cost!"

Into town he flew  
And took all the lights.  
He even melted the snow  
To stop fun snowball fights.

To Amy's he visited  
And zapped all her new clothes,  
Leaving nary a thread  
For poor Amy Rose.

He stole the jewelry from Rouge,  
And all her other nice things.  
The Master Emerald from Knuckles,  
Along with all the Zones' rings.

Vanilla and Cream's house  
Was next on the list,  
And Eggman raided their pantry  
Along with all of Cream's gifts.

The Chaotix came after,  
All three sound asleep,  
As Eggman helped himself  
To all he could keep.

Charmy's candy was stolen.  
None of Espio's shuriken remain.  
And right off the croc's own body  
Eggman took Vector's gold chain.

Even Big he remembered,  
And, though his feet got quite soggy,  
Eggman trudged through the marsh  
And took his best friend, Froggy.

Shadow, it seems,  
Got the best deal,  
Since, search all he might,  
Eggman found very little to steal.

Now content he had stolen  
From every Mobian out there,  
Eggman finally returned  
To his evil lair.

"Now to wait for the morning  
When all those fools awaken,  
Just to figure out  
That Christmas has been taken!"

He let out an evil laugh,  
And never once he paused,  
Feeling very joyful  
For the chaos he'd caused.

* * *

Morning came early to Mobius.  
It was Christmas day at last.  
And all over the planet  
Children were getting up fast.

Sonic also got up now  
After hearing strange wails,  
And dashed down the stairs  
To meet a sad, crying Tails.

"It's all my fault, Sonic!  
You told me I'd pay!  
Santa did come last night,  
And he took everything away!"

Sonic was stunned  
As he surveyed the room,  
That now, without decorations,  
Seemed to show only gloom.

"Look, bro," he said,  
Seeing the young fox's pain,  
"Santa doesn't really exist!  
I was just yankin' your chain!"

"But last night," Tails cried,  
"I saw him when he came!  
He was big and old,  
And he even knew my name!"

"Hold up there, bro!  
You saw Santa last night?!"  
Sonic shouted out dumbfounded,  
Knowing something wasn't right.

Tails nodded his head,  
Still crying periodic,  
While Sonic thought to himself,  
_This stinks like Robotnik!_

Patting Tails on the shoulder,  
Further tears to check,  
Sonic promised the fox,  
"I'll be back in a sec!"

Immediately, Sonic  
Then dashed out the door,  
Heading straight for Eggman's base,  
Having been there before.

On the way, he met countless  
Other victims of larson,  
Proving the phony Santa  
Hadn't missed a single person.

He then broke through the fortress  
With relative ease,  
Letting himself in  
Without so much as a 'please?'

"OK now, Eggman!  
Where did you go?  
You've done bad things before,  
But this is a new low!"

"And how did you know it was me?"  
Eggman answered with a grin.  
"Christmas is cancelled now, Sonic!  
Face it! This time I win!"

"Year after year  
You had Christmas without me!  
Well let's see you have it now  
Without nary a pine tree!"

Yet Sonic just groaned  
With the ease of his task.  
"If ya wanted to so badly,  
Why didn't ya just ask?"

But Eggman took a deaf ear  
To Sonic's good plea.  
"And you would invite  
Your worst enemy?"

"You all would hate me,  
Or set a trap all along!"  
Sonic shook his head and spoke,  
"But that's where you're wrong."

"It doesn't matter what reason  
You celebrate Christmas here.  
It's just that special time  
That draws everyone near."

"And it doesn't take presents  
Or decorations above.  
'Cause Christmas is the time  
To be with the ones you love."

Now Eggman was stunned  
To say the very least,  
And he felt like a monster  
For stealing everyone's feast.

_What have I done?!  
_Eggman quickly thought.  
_Christmas was supposed to be presents,  
__But now I'm told that it's not!_

The doctor's face sagged  
As he let out a sigh.  
"Then take all your stuff back  
Before you say goodbye."

Sonic took the full laser  
And was about to yell 'See ya!'  
When the hedgehog suddenly turned  
Saying, "I've got a better idea…"

* * *

Into Eggman's giant base  
All the Mobians came,  
To share a Christmas together  
That would never be the same.

The dinner was grand  
Filled by all creatures hairy.  
And the returned decorations  
Made it even more merry.

Eggman himself presided  
As the holiday host,  
And many commented  
He looked jollier than most.

He apologized to Tails  
For making him feel like a fool,  
And personally presented the fox  
A brand new, shiny tool.

To Amy, some perfume.  
To Rouge, a large broach.  
For Knuckles, a siren  
To warn when intruders approach.

Cream got a new game.  
The Chaotix received some cash.  
Everyone had a gift from Robotnik  
At his Christmas bash.

And to thank Sonic  
For his holiday herald,  
Eggman even turned over  
The green chaos emerald.

Yes, all the Mobians got back  
What was stolen before,  
And every single one of them  
He also gave something more.

And everyone feasted  
Until their bellies were swollen.  
It was the best holiday ever  
The year Christmas was stolen.


End file.
